which disability? You need to be more specific
This is an odd report that suffers from a lack of focus and coherence. It is not clear whose experiences you are exploring. Sometimes you talked about children with NTD, sometimes adults with physical disability, sometime children with CP in America. The assignment requires you to write a report in two parts focusing on the social experiences of disabled people (rather than the clinical aspects of their conditions).
There are two sentences in your introduction. The first one defines disability in an indirect way in the light of an article in British Medical Journal. Any book that we recommended to you in this module would have been more suitable. The 2nd sentence doesn't relate to the brief of this assignment. In the introduction you are expected to highlight the issues relevant to your chosen group and give an outline of your report.
There are some discussions around the challenges (due to discrimination, prejudice) that young people with a varieties of disability experience, however they don’t come together to attend the requirement of the first part. In the second part (although it is not clearly identified as such) you mentioned some anti discrimination legislation. However this is not quite enough. There is lots of discussion that are thrown without showing how they attend to your question (how they are relevant). This contributed to a lack of focus
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