Understanding Enmeshed And Disengaged Families And Their Behaviors

1. Give three (3) examples of behaviour that might characterize an enmeshed family and three (3) examples of behaviour that might characterize a disengaged family.

2. What communication patterns/messages have been passed from your family-of-origin (F00), representing key intergenerational transmissions? To what extent have you been influenced by these patterns/messages?

3. Identify one or more narratives/themes that serve to create family meanings (values, identity) for a family you know. (20 marks)

4. Circular causality is defined as forces moving in many directions simultaneously. Within a family. any action by one member affects all other members and the family as a whole. Provide two (2) examples in your own family characterized by circularity. Discuss how the communication occurs.

5. Take a position and discuss whether conflict is inevitable and necessary for the development of family relationships. Justify your stand with some examples.

Examples of Behavior in Enmeshed and Disengaged Families

Enmeshed family is described by the boundaries between the members of the family. It causes problem in independence and autonomy of the families.  The behavior pattern changes from both the side. Changing behavior is clearly analyzed from the parent and children point of view. The conflict arises between the parents and teenagers due the different way of thinking and living lifestyle. The expectations are more of parents towards their children. They have more desires and expectations from their children which are not fulfilled by them. The spoken and unspoken rules are governed by members of the family.  In this type of family the people who are living has to through lot of pressure and also they struggle with the feelings that should be controlled in effective manner. The family lacks individuality. The behavior is taken in negative manner and as disloyalty also. Nobody knows what going to happen tomorrow (Minuchin, 2009). The member of the families raise themselves and children raise each other by no one knows the future of each other. Next is disengaged family. In this family emotional connection are not linked. There are many problems which prevails but without the emotional connection. The rules which should be followed by the family are clear but no one feels connected or have link within the family. There is no or less connection with the families. It gives many negative impacts on the members of the family. They feel isolated and live an unhealthy family style. Sometimes family stays together or do something new together but it done on rare basis. The family is disconnected with each other it is in rare situation when there are seen on some special occasion together. No feelings are connected with the members of the family. They live their own life with their own rules (Thomas, 2010). 

The family plays important role in our society especially on family member’s communication. Parent and child communication: It is a bond of parent and child relationship. The relationship does not begin when child is born but it extends to the qualities which are given by the parents to their children. Thus the children possess personalities, values of the parents. It is relationship between the parents and their children which give guidance and support to the children. Now, Father and child communication: The father and child communication is characterized by more involvement; nurturing and affectionate father has influenced the children and parent pattern within the family.  Father fulfills every need in the children life and play important role for giving development in various fields. When father give guidance to their children they use more directives commands which help the children to learn different types of communication. Now father and son communication plays an important role in boy’s life. Father also expresses the feeling of aggression and competitiveness.  As a father I get influenced by son and father communication pattern because it not only give confidence but also create good and mutual relationship between father and son (Bavelas,2009).The son creates a sense of mutual understanding which enhances and makes the relationship of father and son stronger. Under the guidance of father the son becomes strong to cross the hurdle which arises in between of the destination. It gives a feeling of security to both father and son. This relation influences everything in man’s life and also gives benefit to son’s academic achievement, Communication behavior and adult development. It enhances the bond of father and son which give rise to share of feelings with each other.  The feeling of aggression and competition arises where there is lack of communication between father and son (Grando & Ginsberg, 2011).

Patterns of Communication and Intergenerational Transmissions

Let’s take an example of a boy living in a joint family who belongs from a Muslim family. The value of Muslim family is that they cannot marriage in other caste. So, the main value and belief of Muslim family is that the inter-caste marriage in their family is not allowed. The boy has to marry a girl who belongs from a Muslim family only. This is the value which Muslim family possess. The family reflects that in Muslim family no one will accept if the marriage is done against the religion in which they belongs.  It reflects the traditions and customs of the family and also gives emphasis on the background of the family from which the boy belongs.  Everyone in the family has a belief that the marriage should be done with the girl who belongs from the background or with the same religion. They give more emphasis on the marriage which should be done in the same caste (Sen, 2009).The family will not accept if the marriage is done in another caste. Also by staying in the joint family the individual develop personality according to the background of the family. He never feels lonely in the environment in which he stays. It creates the identity of the individual by considering the background of the family. The value also develops the skill of the individual which gives focus on the family. The values are considered which family follow or possess.  If the family accepts inter caste marriage then the family has value and belief to conduct marriage in every religion in which a girl or a boy wants. So the value and beliefs are conducted by family and also that values and beliefs are accepted by every member of the family (Schwartz & Minuchin, 2009).

The action affects all the members of the family. Like take an example of a man who is the earning member of the family. He lost his job due to some reason in the organization. The family of the man is affected by the financial crisis. Then also the lady who is the wife of that man managed the whole house by giving motivation and explaining about the positive things to the husband. So, that if negative things happen it can be ignored easily. By communication and by giving positive ideas one can ignore the worst condition which is prevailing within the family. The Family is affected by the financial crisis which is prevailing in the family. But the lady is playing a supportive role which is giving strength to the husband to find other job which is better than the job which is lost (Carter & McGoldrick, 2012). 

Now let’s consider the second example which affects the whole family by the action of one person. In a family there are two brothers. One is sincere in nature and one is very naughty in nature. The one who is naughty is addicted to drugs. He lives in his own world and communicates less with his family. It affects the whole family that why boy reacts like this with them. So the impact is on whole family. They think that something is going wrong and by this boy the atmosphere of the house is been affected. No one likes to talk to that boy. So by communication only the problem can be solved which will tell the boy about the importance which family possess in his life. Communication plays an important role in minimizing problems with are prevailing in the family. The family should communicate which each other and should create a positive atmosphere in the house (Cutting &Dunn, 2013).

Conflicts are inevitable in the life of humans. Conflicts are necessary to build strong relations in group and create a group identity. When conflicts are violent they are difficult to resolve and can create hindrance in development since the diversion is caused due to the issue which is raised. It is very essential to resolve the conflict which arises and divert the attention from development. For example: There was loss of property and human life in the first and Second World War (Grotevant & Cooper, 2006). It also decreased the levels of socio economic development in poor nations. In Second World War millions of people died and many properties are destroyed. Then another war is introduced which is cold war which brought conflict between different countries like Europe, Asia. Conflicts causes harm to human security, peace and to social and economic activities (Staines & Lang, 2008). Conflict can be positive as well as negative between two individuals in whom they focus on the goals and interests. For family relations conflict is not beneficial because it creates difference between the members of the family. Sometimes distribution of property takes places. It divides the members in many parts. If any conflict occurs between the members it should be resolved with mutual understanding soon as possible. Conflict creates grudges and also creates negative thinking for the other family member within the family which can be very harmful and dangerous for every member of the family (Stern& Kramer, 2013).  The conflict creates a negative environment within the family which affects every member of the family.  It should be resolved with proper understanding and with mutual understanding so that in future the same matter does not arises and give negative impact on other members of the family. It is better to solve the matter and close the conflicts as early as possible (Bitter, 2013). 

References:

Bavelas, A. (2009). Communication patterns in task?oriented groups. The Journal of the Acoustical Society of America, 22(6), 725-730.

Bitter, J. R. (2013). Theory and practice of family therapy and counseling. Cengage Learning.

Carter, B. E., & McGoldrick, M. E. (2012). The changing family life cycle: A framework for family therapy. Gardner Press.

Cutting, A. L., & Dunn, J. (2013). Theory of mind, emotion understanding, language, and family background: Individual differences and interrelations. Child development, 70(4), 853-865.

Grando, R., & Ginsberg, B. G. (2011). Communication in the father-son relationship: The parent-adolescent relationship development program. Family coordinator, 465-473.

Grotevant, H. D., & Cooper, C. R. (2006). Individuation in family relationships. Human development, 29(2), 82-100.

Minuchin, S. (2009). Families and family therapy. Harvard University Press.

Schwartz, R. C., & Minuchin, S. (2009). Family therapy: Concepts and methods (pp. 149-150). New York: Gardner Press.

Sen, A. (2009). Gender and cooperative conflicts (No. 1342). Helsinki: Wider.

Staines, G. L., & Lang, L. (2008). Conflicts between work and family life. Monthly Lab. Rev., 103, 29.

Thomas, D. L. (2010). The religion & family connection: Social science perspectives. Brigham Young University Religious Studies Center.

Stern, E. M., & Kramer, S. Z. (2013). Transforming the inner and outer family: Humanistic and spiritual approaches to mind-body systems therapy. Routledge.