A Summary Of Loss And Grief For Lifetime Experience Bereavement

Abstract

Describe about the Loss and Grief for Lifetime Experience Bereavement.

People experience grief when there is a loss which was not expected. It is not only during death that grief is experienced but also making other losses. Examples of those losses include illness, death, moving to a new house or unemployment. The aim of this report is to summarize different theories of bereavement and loss. It will discuss the different causes of loss and reaction of individuals to them. The report also summarizes the effect of loss and means of overcoming it especially the loss of loved one through death. The report tries to outline the best way that people who face loss are supposed to grief so that they can reduce the pain.

Introduction:

Grief is all about response to loss of life. It mainly involves loss of something or anybody, to which affection or bond was there. Apart from being conventionally occupied with the emotional reaction to loss, it has social, Philosophical, physical, behavioral, and cognitive dimensions. Bereavement is the state of grief to a reaction loss of life (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 2005 p46). Grief is the emotional suffering on feels when anything or anyone the woman or man loves goes away for good mostly through death. People grieve in connection with different losses in their lives. Examples of losses that individuals face include ill health, unemployment, death and termination of a relationship.

Nature of the loss

Our client suffered depression after losing two members of his family, his father and on of his cousins. Death grief that is almost every man or woman is familiar with. Losing a person you care about deeply is extremely painful. E was unable to come to terms with the realities of losing his father because he could not contemplate what the future would be without a person he depended on. He went through the process of grief and eventually came out strong. One may experience complex feelings, leading to disappointment and emotional stress (Edelman, 2006 p46). Even though there is no universal method to grieve, there are healthy processes that help to manage loneliness. This may go far into renewing oneself and to cope with real life challenges.

Our Client’s reaction to loss

Denial and Isolation

Our client’s reaction to the loss was devastating because he could not contemplate losing two close members of his family. The first reaction was denial and isolation. He did not want to accept the reality as it was. He was too emotional about the loss and often stayed away from other people. The immediate shock and loss made him adopt a defense mechanism where he expressed his emotions to people around him. He remained lonely for some time while lamenting why this happened to him.

Nature of the Loss

Denial and isolation began to wear out and the reality of the situation re-emerged. Our client’s emotions was redirected and expressed as anger. This anger was often directed to strangers, friends, and inanimate objects as well as to some family members. He also directed the hunger to the doctors who treated his dada and his cousin blaming them for negligence and incompetence.

Bargaining

Our client had a feeling of helplessness and vulnerability. He often asked himself some questions in bid to regain control of the mental state that he was in. For instance, he lamented that if he had sought medical attention for his dad earlier enough, then he would have save his life. He also thought that it was prudent to have sought the opinion of another doctor before the situation became worse.

Depression

Our client became depressed as he came to terms with the practical implications of losing a father. Regret and sadness preoccupied his thoughts because he was unable to imagine how he would cope with life without a person he entirely depended on. He feared that he would be unable to raise enough money for his college feed provided that he had other siblings who were in school and the mother was unemployed.

Acceptance

Eventually, our client accepted the situation and moved on. H gained assurance and support from other family members and friends and made a determination to accept and continue with his life bearing in mind that each and every person in this world will at one time pass on. He started interacting with other people and regained his personality again. He still could not hide the devastating effects of losing a loved one.

Dual process model

Dual process model provides an account of how a phenomenon can occur in two different ways from two distinct processes. Often, the two processes consist of unconscious/implicit and explicit/conscious processes. Unconscious processes are automatic while conscious proceses are controlled.

The Dual Process Model suggests that there are two types of stressors namely the loss-oriented stressors and restoration-oriented stressors. Loss oriented stressors come from the process of processing the loss of a person who has died. On the other hand, restoration stressors come from the secondary sources of stress. For instance, instead of thinking about the grief of a person who has died, it also considers feelings of isolation having to fulfill the tasks that were initially being fulfilled by the person who died (Doreen Kenworthy, 2011). According to DPM a griever oscillated between confronting and avoiding the loss. One strives to fulfill the practical needs and life tasks.

Our Client's Reaction to Loss

Worden’s Four Task Model

This involves coming to terms with the reality of losing a loved one. Your mind can easily pretend that the death did not happen so that you can avoid the pain associated with the loss. In this kind of a scenario, one may expect their loved ones to be far away and well. One might continually expect his/her loved one to be on the other end of the phone when it rings. Acceptance is the first step to willingness of starting a new journey of healing (Humphrey, 2009).

One should be patient and to allow those worse feelings to wash over your conscience so that you can be able to process them. A client should be given good care and engaged in good eating habits, physical activity and enough sleep. He should also spend time with other people who he/she feels comfortable with.

It is also advisable to change or adjust to a new environment by resuming their routine activities. For adults, it is good to go back to work or to engage in social activities. It requires learning new array of skills and redefining how you see yourself without the loved one.

It also requires one to find and endure a connection with the deceased while moving forward with the life. One should be helped to take the loss in a positive way and to appreciate the life of the deceased person. Being appreciative of the good times they spent with the loved one, is a step towards the healing journey.

Theories used in this case

Family systems theory

This theory was developed by the Bowen Center for the study of family. It refers to human behavior that views a family as an emotional unit. It uses systems thinking to describe some of the complex interactions in a family unit. The theory asserts that, members of a family are emotionally connected to the family they belong to. These connections are intense and they occur naturally (Farley, 2012). It also asserts that sometimes people feel disconnected from their fami9lies, but this is more of a feeling than a fact. Family members affect each other’s thoughts feelings and actions because they often solicit support and approval and react to each other’s expectations, needs and upsets. This clearly explains the behavior of our client. He was emotionally distressed after losing members of his family. Understanding the modalities of this theory, psychologists can ably assist a client who is emotionally distressed. A grieved person can be assisted by involving family members into the healing process of their counterpart. Strong family members can help weak ones to come to terms with the harsh realities of losing their loved one. They can also give assurances of their support to the most affected member.

Models Used to Solve the Problem

Though it is wrong to pathologize grief, the practitioner should help the client to stop burdening their lives out of grief. Grief can sometimes an individual’s self-worth and interfere with a person’s cognitive functioning. Considering these potential damaging effects of grief, a practitioner should give and honest and informed encouragement to a grieving client.

In this case, the practitioner took stock of the client’s grief and engaged him on a counseling process whereby the grieved client had a chance to express his views and feelings about the loss as well as listen to the practitioner’s words of encouragement. The practitioner used other methods to engage the client into accepting and moving on with life. After the burial of the client’s dad, the practitioner embarked on counseling sessions with the client whereby they would later do social work. Social interactions with less privileged members of the society helped the client forget his problems and focus on helping other people.. They would hear their views and feelings and help them design. Eventually the client forgot the past and moved on with his life more energized and focused on a brighter future.

Turn to friends and Family members: Family members are the people who care about you. It is more understanding to lean on the people who are close to you even if you are strong or self-sufficient (Farley, 2012 p8). Never avoid you loved ones and always accept the assistance that they will offer. Talk to a counselor or a grief therapist: If your grief is too much, it is good to call or visit a mental health professional who has a good experience in grief counseling. Draw remedy from your religion. If you follow a dedicated culture, then use mourning rituals that would provide therapy. Religious routines such as meditation, pray, or attending church or mosque service can provide solace to a grieving person (Doreen Kenworthy, 2011 p9). If you happen to question your faith during a loss, seek spiritual guidance from the clergy or others in your devout community. On another place where an individual can get support from is the support group. Sharing your problems with other people who have in the past experienced similar challenges can help. It is important to contact local hospitals, counseling centers funeral homes or hospices when seeking support groups in your area (Wilson, 2013 p86).

Another way of overcoming grief is by expressing one's feelings in a creative approach. The inventive procedure can quite often aid persons to deal with despair emotional pain and disappointment. Example holds something like a journal of the feelings that you are experiencing or you write a letter to the person that you have lost. Like physical undertaking, expressing emotions in writing may reduce the symptoms of grief. By maintaining a journal or a record of the period that you went through a difficult moment you will be any to periodically refer to check how you might have stepped forward in treatment. It is important for an individual who is morning to avoid stressful decisions and stressful situation (Publications, 2005 p12). It is important especially when people are exercising their judgment. Postpone decisions and that are not needed immediately like financial decisions. Always seek financial advice from professionals so that your decisions will be sound. A person who is in the state of grief should always learn to give himself time. It is unrealistic for one to take only three days for bereavement. Let the person have his time frame to heal. Grief in most cases usually takes one year to 5 years (Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 2005).

Theories Used in this Case

Centering Prayer, meditation and stress discount procedures.  Contemplative disciplines can aid to manipulate stress and enable an individual to find an appropriate state of relaxation or awareness. Meditation and Prayer could assist in a single’s nonsecular development by way of clearing the intellect of the everyday stress, and permit one to center of attention on the grace of God.

Culture and tradition play critical and important role in understanding the style and manner in which a person grieves. The concept of what happens to a person after death can be reviled by one's culture. Ones thought of the means of life, and the demise comes from individual’s beliefs and tradition, so as a result the feelings and grief that one experience is linked immediately to person’s identity (John W. James, 2010 p52). Every tradition has its rituals and customs that advisor and shapes the way the bereaved grieves.

The period of grief is a long one, and it is fundamental to gift oneself time to grieve and to suffer the overwhelming emotions that accompany grief. Each character moves at his or her pace and alongside this path there perhaps circumstances which prevent one’s growth and occasions which guide one’s progress. It will even take a lifetime to arrive the favored pursuits of acceptance and inner peace. Reaching acceptance and inner peace does not mean the survivor will feel the same way every day. The intensity of grief diminishes as time passes because the interval of waves of grief become farther and farther (Simos, 2009 p173 ). Some people think it is disloyal for an individual to feel better which is not the case. The loved relative that you are grieving, on the other hand, rejoices when you feel good because he/she sees and feels your pain. It is believed that when one makes contact with a loved one on the other side it can help grieving journey. A human being a soul is immortal, and thus we tend to survive physical death. Even as spirit contact via a medium, it will not end the suffering of the bereaved, it'll help that man or woman obtains another point of view on death. This new viewpoint may just turn out to be the feeling of the finality of death into the recognition death is merely the transference of our vigor, of who we're, to a greater realm (Blevins, 2014 p77).

Conclusion

All people will have one day in their lifetime experience bereavement and grief because they are natural emotions. It is important for counselors to get to know how loss affects people differently and take note of the difference of grief presentation and comprehension among different groups of people. Client’s practices and cultural beliefs are an important construct. For one to be an effective counselor in grief counseling, proper training is needed. Grief has got no magic pill; it is not possible to get over it. It is like a journey, it never gets to the end, but only things get better as there are some things that you can do make it smooth along the way (Lewis, 2009 p32 ).

References

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